Do you struggle with the uncertainty of not being “good enough?”
If so, you are not alone. It shows up for all of us.
Lately, I have seen this theme come up a lot with many of my clients. Most of them have been struggling with this issue in regards to their careers. They are all high-achievers who pour their hearts and souls into their work, and yet they are being told that it is not good enough… or that they are not good enough.
No matter how much product they generate.
No matter how many hours they work.
No matter how much passion and brilliance they bring to their craft…
Their bosses all seem to want something different. They were initially hired for their opinions and expertise, and then they find their ideas on strategy, organization, and creative vision are rejected or ignored. This leaves them disempowered and confused.
A few of the clients have said, “Enough is enough,” and have finally chosen to leave their positions and look for other opportunities.
The others continue to “walk on eggshells” trying to figure out what went wrong. Uncertain of why they are suddenly being marginalized, and then gaslit to ensure their performances aren’t good enough. It feels like emotional whiplash.
They have all spent countless hours spinning about their “enough-ness.” Wondering if they are too opinionated? Too aggressive? Too sensitive? Not sensitive enough?
And, on the flip side, they fear just being TOO much.
So how do we strike the balance between good enough and too much? How do we distinguish between being “strong enough” to put up with the ambiguity, mixed messages, and relentless workload? And how do we know when it is time to say “enough is enough?”
It starts with the understanding that we cannot control the thoughts and feelings of others. The only thing we have control over is our own thoughts and feelings.
When we neglect ourselves by abandoning our own needs, we show up with doubt and uncertainty. This is like the proverbial crack in the vase… we become unstable and lose our confidence. When our confidence is shaken, we become reactive and over-compensate by rushing, multi-tasking, and becoming defensive. This leads to more mistakes and burnout.
So how do we stop this vicious cycle?
I believe it starts with self-care. By having a routine of good daily habits, our minds and bodies are better equipped to handle stress and the high demands of our jobs.
Self-care is a lot of different things. It is mindset work as well as physical habits. But for me, I follow four basic principles every day:
Drinking plenty of water, eating healthy, exercising, and meditating. These are non-negotiable for me.
Finding your own daily routine that sets you up for success each day requires a bit of trial and error, but consistency is key.
When we practice DAILY self-care, we show up in the world differently. It gives us confidence, clarity, and stamina. Your self-concept will start to shift and you will know:
You are enough! Not too much. Not too little. Just the right amount.
xo, Jackie
