You are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, episode 23. This is the one
where I'm going to talk all about emotional eating. Let's dive in.
Hey there, you are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy. This is a podcast
for overthinkers, overachievers, perfectionists, type A, stressed out,
anxious people who just want to calm down and feel better. I'm your host,
Certified Life Coach, Jackie de Crinis.
Hey there. How are you? I hope everybody's having a good week. So it's interesting
how I see patterns with clients, and I feel like there must be some reason these
things come up in waves or in patterns at certain times. And so I like to do my
podcasts around patterns I see with clients because I think as a microcosm,
if my clients are going through this several at once over the course of several
weeks, then chances are it probably is something that a lot of people can relate
to. So I like to bring that collective into my podcasts and share with you what I
think might be a universal problem, not just a problem for a few individuals.
So the subject this week is gonna be about the struggle of emotional eating.
And this is what many coaches and therapists refer to as buffering, and there are
many forms of buffering. It's not just food, but there can be buffering with alcohol
or drugs or video games, gambling, even binge watching television,
basically anything that is an addiction to numb the feelings that might feel
unpleasant in your body is buffering. So I'm going to probably do a future podcast
on some of the other types of buffering at a later date, but for today's episode,
I just want to focus on buffering with food because what I've seen is that the
single biggest obstacle for most of my clients in losing weight has been buffering.
Now, I'm not specifically a weight loss coach, although I do coach about 50 % of my
clients on learning to eat healthier as part of a healthy lifestyle and also losing
weight. But I believe that eating here is just part of, like I said,
a lifestyle that creates less anxiety and stress in your body. When you are putting
good and better fuel into your body, you tend to feel happier,
healthier, less anxious, and less stressed. So that's sort of the place I'm coming
from. And then the bonus is for those who maybe need to lose weight or want to
lose weight, They get that on top of feeling less anxious and less stressed, but
developing healthy eating habits is just part of a healthy body and healthy mind.
And I very much believe in the old adage, you are what you eat. So feeling good
in your body and feeling good in your clothes can lead to more self -confidence,
better sleep, better mental clarity and less health problems down the road. But I
know that weight is a lifelong battle for many people, and I have spent the better
part of 30 years trying to figure out what works best for my body, my lifestyle,
and it has been a lot of trial and error. And look, there is no one recipe for
everybody. Some people do well on keto, others on paleo, others prefer a vegetarian
or vegan style. I've actually tried them all. My body doesn't respond to most of
the diets. And so I do a program that I feel is the most well balanced and
advantageous for my body. But I also don't believe in the word diet.
I think eating is a lifestyle habit. And I love food and I love cooking. And I've
said this before on previous podcasts. I don't think food is the enemy and I don't
think it should be treated as the enemy, but I also think it needs to be respected
and I don't think it's something to use as a drug and I don't think it's something
to use to buffer your feelings. So that's why I think it's important to create good
healthy habits around food and your relationship with food. I believe that's the
success to long -term weight loss and maintaining a healthy happy weight. So I have
many clients who will tell me that food is their social life. It's how they connect
with family and friends and colleagues, whether it's a business lunch, a family
dinner, parties, potlucks, barbecues, travel, whatever. It feels like everything for
them is centered around food. Food is social. It is cultural.
It is international. And it's a way of connecting without even speaking the same
language. It's a way of sharing art and love and passion. I never look at food as
an enemy. Even though it is important for me to make healthy food choices,
I don't think it's an either or thing. Food is fuel. Food is our life source,
and food can be used as medicine. But like I said earlier, food can also be used
as a drug to manage our emotions. And this is where we have to examine or re
-examine our relationship with food for optimal health and wellness. Now when my
clients decide they want to lose weight, I have a program that I put most people
on and I have about a 99 % success rate. Most clients on this program lose weight
and they do so fairly effortlessly. And that's because it's not hard to follow.
There's no measuring of food, there's no calorie counting, it takes into account
eating out and living your life. But those that struggle on the program admit that
It's not because they're feeling hungry or feeling deprived. They're saying it's just
that because eating and losing weight feels emotional to them. They struggle with
staying on track. And if you're struggling with your weight and there's nothing
medically wrong, meaning there's no metabolic reason why you can't lose weight or
there's no disease that is preventing you from losing weight, then most likely it's
just the emotions you have connected to food that is tripping up your weight loss.
So eating can be a way to temporarily silence or stuff down uncomfortable emotions,
including anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness, resentment,
shame. While numbing yourself with food or buffering with food,
it's easy, at least in the short term, to avoid the difficult emotions you'd rather
not feel. Boredom or feelings of emptiness. Again,
this is what we call comfort eating.
And when people comfort eat, they feel like it's a way to reward themselves for a
hard day,
how food seems like the best way to manage it. Or maybe it's the best way to
socialize, or maybe it's the only way to socialize. But it's all the same thing. We
give away our power, or we bury our emotions in this buffering habit.
So how do we change the emotional relationship with food so that it doesn't become
the enemy? Well, the first thing is to recognize the triggers of what's causing you
to eat. And again, I'm not talking about hunger or low blood sugar. I'm talking
about that absent -minded eating, that late night eating, that absent -minded snacking,
or that eating after you're full just because you wanted something to do. By
recognizing the triggers of the need to comfort yourself, the first question is
what's the trigger? What are you going through emotionally? Like before you grab that
handful of chips or nuts or M &Ms or whatever, what's the emotion in your body?
Are you feeling mad? Are you feeling hurt? Are you under pressure? Are you just
bored? Or are you tired? Each one of these things might have a different response.
If you're reaching for comfort food, sugar, fast food, processed food, snacks with
little nutritional value, you're more likely to crave these things because of the
association you have with that food and its memory. Whether it's pizza when you were
little or macaroni and cheese or ice cream or cookies or candy, all of these foods
might be linked to a childhood memory of being comforted. Maybe by a parent or a
caregiver at some point. It was a reward. So now your brain associates with those
foods as "feeling better." And we usually have recurring thoughts that come up around
eating poorly or eating for comfort. Thoughts like "I've had a hard day. I deserve
this." Or "I had a great day and I deserve this, or I'm too tired to make
something healthy. I'm starving and I don't have any other quick food options. I'm
just gonna eat this. I'm bored. I'm lonely. I don't care about being healthy right
now. But if you're like most adults who struggle with their weight, these foods,
the fast ones, the sugary ones, the salty ones, the processed ones, these foods
might temporarily make you feel better because they have a sense memory that you've
attached to but most likely within an hour or two all you're going to do is eat
more or feel bloated or feel guilty or feel uncomfortable in your body and that's
when you start thinking the negative thoughts I blew my diet I have no self -control
it's hard to lose weight I've already fallen off the wagon so I might as well
finish off the plate of cookies or the pint of ice cream and you start negotiating
with yourself. I'll start my diet again tomorrow or Monday. Now,
if any of these things sound familiar, you are not alone. These are just old
habits. And it's about changing the old habit, like I always say,
for a good new habit. So what are the ways you can set yourself up for success
and not fall into the pattern of emotional eating or comfort eating or buffering?
If you're trying to lose weight, the first thing you want to do is create an
awareness about your relationship with food. And how you do that is by starting a
food journal. Start writing down everything you eat. And this is what's called
tracking. And this includes the BLTs, as my friend Lindsay calls them, the bites,
licks, and tastes. They count too. When you have to commit pen to paper or log it
into an app, you create an accountability partner. And that accountability partner is
you. Sometimes just having to write down a bite of brownie is too much work.
So it might make you skip taking that absent -minded nibble if you knew you had to
write it down. But tracking does another thing. It creates a conscious awareness of
what you're really eating and how much you're eating. Now I usually give this
exercise of tracking or food journaling to my clients for a week before even
attempting a new eating program. Just spend a week tracking what you eat and
discover how much conscious or unconscious or overeating you might be doing.
Now, my clients who commit to tracking their food, water, and weight on a daily
basis are the ones who have the greatest success in losing weight. But for those
who struggle, it's not because they're quote hungry. It's because whether they're
overeating or snacking or eating for comfort, it's emotional. So what do you do when
you feel emotional? Whether that's boredom or tired or just in need of comfort?
The answer is acknowledging your needs for comfort. If you are tired,
try drinking a glass of water first. For those of you who listened to my very
first episode of this podcast, you know that dehydration can mimic a lot of
behaviors. Fatigue and hunger can be two of them. So before you do anything else,
try having a glass of water. If you're sufficiently hydrated and still tired,
it's possible you need to eat. And you should if you're hungry, but just make sure
you choose a snack or a meal with protein, whether that's nuts or cheese, eggs, or
whatever meat protein works best for your body, just make sure it's minimally
processed. The more natural, the better. Almonds and a piece of fruit are a great
snack, celery and a nut butter, hard boiled egg and some carrots, a slice of cheese
and an apple, meat or fish and veggies, if you're having a full sit -down meal,
whatever works. But protein and vegetables are the best choices you can make if
you're truly hungry. Now, what if you're just tired and you're like, "I need to
pick me up, I need sugar." Let me offer you this. Can you take a rest?
Can you take a break between activities or meetings. Can you find 5 or 10 minutes
to stretch out on the floor, a sofa, a bed, or even in your parked car by just
closing your eyes for 5 minutes? Sometimes, if you're tired,
your body is telling you you need to rest, or maybe meditate or power nap.
But if you're tired, do it. Take the time if you can. Don't eat if you're not
legitimately hungry listen to what your body needs Okay,
let's say you've checked all the boxes now. You're hydrated. You're not technically
hungry and you're not tired Maybe you're just simply feeling bored or sad or lonely.
What do you do now? The answer is distract yourself The best distractions from
emotional eating are taking five minutes, just long enough to help you switch gears.
And here's some ideas for switching gears. Go for a five minute walk. Sit outside.
Put some of your favorite music on. Dance. Call a close friend and chat.
The more ways you can think of to distract yourself from emotional eating,
the easier it will become to stop in the future. Because you'll have retrained your
brain to do something else that's more productive, more nurturing,
and less self -sabotaging to your dietary goals. Now,
these alternatives will become your new habit.
Taking control of your relationship with food and your body will empower you to take
control in other aspects of your life. When you feel better in your clothes and in
your body, you show up with more confidence. You will stress less about things like
what to wear, what to eat or not eat and feel less self -conscious in both work
and social situations. And as I always say, It is never too late to make a change.
You are not too far gone. You are not too old. Change is available to everyone
right now. And if diets have failed you before, I encourage you to just take a
couple of steps here. One, lose the word "diet" from your vocabulary.
Two, start journaling. And three, when you find yourself emotionally buffering with
food. See if you can't find a healthier distraction or choice rather than going to
that old familiar habit of just eating to fill a void. Alright,
that's all I have for you this week. Have a great week. I wish you great success
in whatever you set your intentions for. I will talk to you next time.
Bye for now. If you want to learn more tips about managing your stress and how to
manage your overthinking brain, just go to my website and sign up for my weekly
newsletter at jackiedecrinis.com. That's J -A -C -K -I -E -D -E -C -R -I -N -I -S dot com.
You can also follow me on Instagram at jackiedecrinis.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Overthinker's Guide to Joy. If you like
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