You are listening to the Overthinkers Guide to Joy episode 82. This is the one
where we're going to talk about a little secret in combating chronic pain, occasional
pain, and just general aggravation. Let's dive in. This is a podcast for
overthinkers, overdoers, and overachievers who are tired of feeling overanxious and
just want to feel better. I'm your host, certified life coach Jackie de Crinis.
Hey there and welcome back. So today I wanna talk about pain management. And I'm
not just talking about physical pain, but also psychological pain. Believe it or not,
they're inextricably tied together. That is physical pain creates psychological pain
and psychological pain can create physical pain. So it makes sense that if one can
influence another, or dare I say, cause another, then it also makes sense that the
remedy or one of the remedies might be the same too. And the remedy that I wanna
talk about today is a little radical because I am talking about radical acceptance.
In its most basic form, let me use the cliche. It's taking lemons and turning them
into lemonade. But radical acceptance is about acknowledging reality without trying to
wrestle it into submission. How does one accept a circumstance that it's really
annoying or difficult that creates stress and pain? How do we wrap our heads around
that and just say, "Oh, I accept it"? It sounds completely counterintuitive.
But the thing is, when we fight reality, it's like we're in a wrestling match with
an opponent who cannot be defeated, because reality always wins.
And I understand it's hard to help ourselves by not pushing back, by challenging
what is, and refusing to accept it, particularly when we are in pain.
But here's the thing, we're actually making the pain worse by doing that.
And we end up more exhausted and less equipped to manage the pain physically or
psychologically when we are exhausted. So picture this, small example.
You're stuck in traffic on your way to work. You're fuming, you're cursing at other
drivers, you're honking your horn like a crazy person, and guess what all that drama
is actually doing? It's actually just increasing the stress in your body. You're not
moving any faster because you're honking your horn or you're angry or you're cursing.
You're probably still going one or two miles an hour and you're just more frustrated
than you were when you realized there was a traffic jam. But you're also flooding
your body with cortisol. And while that is an incredibly useful hormone when you're
running from a bear, it is not beneficial to managing the day -to -day circumstances
that all drive us crazy. So you might already know this. Cortisol creates muscle
tension, inflammation, and over an extended period of time, it can actually cause
cellular dysfunction, which can lead to catastrophic disease over time.
So rather than allowing that cortisol to flood our body, which doesn't make the
situation any different, if we were to just take a deep breath, turn up the radio
and say, traffic happens, there's not much I can do about it right now, we've just
applied radical acceptance. Now, when you accept the situation as it is,
something magical happens. Your stress levels start to come down, and your body
thanks you for not going into full -on road rage mode. You've actually given a gift
to your body, like a mini spa vacation. Yeah, it's true.
You've stopped the excess cortisol production with acceptance, And as a bonus,
you've put yourself back in control because staying calm and practicing acceptance
makes you the boss again. You see, it's all about letting go of the rope when
you're playing tug of war with reality. You're not resisting. Or another analogy is,
do you remember those little bamboo Chinese finger traps that we used to get as
party favors as kids? So it was like a little who made out of soft bamboo or
braided bamboo and you would stick your fingers in either end and then you would
pull and your fingers would be trapped. But if you push in rather than yank out,
you loosen the grip of the trap and then you're free. That is the perfect metaphor
for acceptance. So acceptance doesn't mean condoning something bad.
It doesn't mean liking it. It doesn't mean tolerating what you can change. It means
accepting what you can't change. Now, I'm not saying it's easy. In fact,
I think it's one of the harder things to do. We're wired as a species to resist,
to fight, to change things. Because we're problem solvers. We're inventors.
This is how humans got to be at the top of the food chain. But we're not designed
to sweat the small stuff. Because all that stress and aggravation, pushing back,
it creates its own kind of pain and suffering. And that's a good segue. Let's talk
about physical pain. We have all suffered at some point from headaches, stomach
aches, muscle aches, or something much, much worse. And I have often talked about my
own frustration with my various sports injuries. Everything from shoulders, knees,
wrists, low back. And when I am sidelined from my favorite sports due to injury,
I am anything but patient. I'm usually very irritated that the very thing that keeps
me healthy, happy and in shape is the very thing that causes some of my most
chronic pain cycles. But when I practice, I should say when I remember to practice,
radical acceptance, instead of pushing through the pain with gritted teeth, or being
angry that this is happening again, I say, okay, body, I hear you, I understand
you're hurting, let's see how we can work with this. In other words, I lean in.
So we're back to that sort of that Chinese finger trap again, rather than yanking
away and being in denial about, I can't have this pain, this pain is in my way,
this is not functional. If I lean in and get curious about it, what else can I
do? Maybe there's a reason for this pain. Maybe I need to slow down. Maybe I need
to take better care of my body. Maybe I need to go do something else. That's
acceptance. And studies have shown that practicing radical acceptance can actually
reduce the perception of pain. It's like telling your brain, "Hey, this pain is
here, but it's not going to ruin my day." Once again, you become the boss through
acceptance. Just to reiterate, the acceptance itself can reduce the pain in your
body. Now, acceptance, even radical acceptance, does not cure broken bones or cancer
or heart disease, but it can mitigate the extra layer of conflict in our minds.
And that has been what's proven to expedite healing. So the next time you get a
headache instead of popping a dozen painkillers, try sipping some water, try taking a
deep breath, or say, all right, headache, you've got my attention, what do you need?
You may find you need a break, you need to rest, Maybe you need ice, maybe you
need heat, maybe you need a massage. Maybe you need to go get some fresh air or
change your environment. Maybe you need to eat or maybe you need to talk about
something that's bothering you because there has again been a lot of connection
between emotional aggravation and physical pain. So sometimes just getting something
out in a constructive way can reduce the sensation of physical pain.
So let me be clear, radical acceptance is not about becoming a passive doormat.
It's about choosing your battles wisely. Some things you can change and those you
should absolutely go for it. But for the rest, traffic jams, unexpected setbacks,
occasional body aches, can you practice radical acceptance, can you alter your own
brain chemistry by simply not resisting fighting back or judging yourself? And the
last thing I wanna say about this concept is it's not a magic bullet. It's not a
light switch. You can't just turn it on once and expect it to be a panacea. Like
all the work that I recommend on this podcast, it is a practice.
Not a practice for one day, but a practice every day. And like all the other
practices, it's not meant to be weaponized against yourself if you forget, or if you
fail, or if you don't succeed right away. It is simply something to try and
practice as often as you can. Because if you do, you are likely to find greater
peace, After healing, and ultimately, you'll just be a happier individual.
But first, you have to be patient with yourself. All right, friends,
as always, I thank you for listening and I look forward to talking to you next
time, and bye for now. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Overthinker's
Guide to Joy. If you're enjoying these episodes, Please subscribe or follow this
podcast so you can always be in the know when the next episode drops. If you would
like to learn more about working with me as a coach, you can connect with me
through my website at jackiedecrinis.com
