You are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, episode 22. This is the one
where I talk all about how to stop procrastinating. Let's dive in.
Hey there, you are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy. This is a podcast
for overthinkers, overachievers, perfectionists, type A, stressed out,
anxious people who just want to calm down and feel better. I'm your host,
certified life coach, Jackie de Crinis.
Hey there, how are you today? So today I want to talk about procrastination,
which is ironic because it's taken me like hours longer than it should have to
record this podcast, but things kept getting in my way, or I allowed things to keep
getting in my way, so I am guilty of procrastination today. But a few months ago,
I did a podcast on perfectionism, and I think it was like episode 12, in case you
missed it or you wanna hear it again. But in that episode, I talked about the role
procrastination plays as kind of a symptom of perfectionism. But today I wanted to
get more specific about this human tendency for procrastination and just give it a
little bit more airtime. So procrastination is actually something I coach on a lot.
And although I work with mostly very high achieving professionals, doctors,
lawyers, executives, writers, producers, musicians, entrepreneurs, it actually doesn't
matter. What I have found is, in spite of people's great success,
most people have something they procrastinate about. Now,
it's different for everyone. There are those who procrastinate over everything, and
there are those who procrastinate over one particular area. So,
what I've found is it's mostly categorical, like there are people who procrastinate
over household chores, laundry, dishes, cleaning in general. Other people I find
procrastinate with everyday work stuff. Maybe it's returning emails or phone calls or
invoicing or filing or doing their taxes. Others procrastinate on self -care and they
can't seem to find the time, so they say, to exercise, meditate,
or eat healthy on a regular basis. I cannot tell you how many people struggle and
procrastinate on drinking water every day. So the one thing I've come to discover is
that procrastination seems to have a common denominator, and that is shame.
Now when I work with a client, there's usually something they want to do better or
more consistently in their life. Sometimes it's all the things, but usually it's one
area. And when they fail to be consistent in one area, they want to improve it.
And when they don't, in other words, when they procrastinate, this becomes their
albatross or at least heal, whatever you want to call it. But this is the thing
that nags at them. No matter how much money they make, no matter how beautiful
their home is, no matter how successful they are, there's usually one thing where
they procrastinate and they have enormous embarrassment or shame over it. So
procrastination is just a bad habit. And oftentimes it's a coping mechanism.
And we procrastinate for a lot of different reasons. Perfectionism is just one of
those things that I talked about and it shares a lot of the same attributes as
procrastination. But when someone procrastinates about doing something, it could be for
a variety of reasons. It might be that the task at hand feels like a chore.
It's not fun and lots of people don't like doing things that aren't fun but I
think I talked to you before in an earlier episode that the way to take a chore
and make it not a chore is to think about what's the benefit down the road for
doing it. So little things like cleaning a bathroom,
taking out the trash, folding laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing a burned pan. These are
chores most people don't like to do, and many people will put them off as long as
possible. Because they think it doesn't matter, or they live alone, or they hope
another family member will take care of it, hello most mothers, or they think it
just doesn't really matter anyway. But it hangs over them. quote, chores that they
are procrastinating, it plays a role in their psyche. And I'll talk about that in a
little bit. But in other cases, people might put off doing their homework, studying,
or getting ready for an important presentation. Something important might take a lot
of energy to figure out.
And people just don't wanna dig in and get started. Other people might procrastinate
a job that requires a lot of heavy lifting, literally or figuratively. They just
don't have the physical or mental energy to put into what it takes to get something
done. So they put it on the back burner, kick the can down the road, and they
just figure, "I'll get to it at some point." How many of you have said that,
right? In other cases someone might have a task that's fairly easy to accomplish and
it's just a matter of doing it. Now I work with a number of clients who are in
sales and sometimes all they need to do is like make you know 20 cold calls a day
or return their emails or do their invoicing and they just don't want to do it and
what they find is their sales decrease their revenue decreases and they know there
is a direct correlation and yet they still can't find that motivation. Now,
like I said, what do all of these procrastinations have in common? We talked about
shame, but they also have another component and that's fear. Now,
in the case of working on a project, a person might procrastinate for fear of
getting started or not doing it right. That is putting a lot of energy into
something and it coming out badly or being heavily critiqued by someone. Some people
may procrastinate because they need help. They need either someone to assist them or
explain something to them and they fear that they would be bothering someone by
asking for help or they fear looking incompetent or needy or they fear sacrificing
their independence. So we let the fear of either looking bad,
doing something wrong, starting or not completing, being judged by others,
or being rejected by others as a reason to procrastinate. So what's the secret to
not procrastinating? Well I believe it's just two things. I think the first one is
to just break the big task into smaller tasks. And the second one is to ask for
help or hire help. Sometimes if you have a big physical project and it's not
something you can do alone, ask a neighbor or a friend or hire a handyman,
landscaper or mover to help you. If you have something that doesn't require physical
strength, but maybe expertise in a particular area like law, accounting,
copywriting, tech, ask yourself who do you know or who do you know that knows
someone in that field of that expertise? And then you ask them for a favor,
trade them, something you have that they need, or hire them. But don't stop doing
something that you know you can complete if you just could get some help.
Now, if it's something that you just need to get done and it requires no physical
strength or even mental expertise, but you just don't want to do it, that's another
good time to try calling a friend or a close relative. Because sometimes just
calling someone and talking through a project or chore that you need to get done,
can give you the motivation you need to get started. Or perhaps they'll come over
or chat with you while you're on the phone while you're doing it, whether that's
cleaning out a closet or doing some filing or whatever. This is called an
accountability partner. And this is what I do as a coach. Oftentimes, I am the
person who helps people break a big goal down into smaller steps and just get
started with the first easiest baby step they can think of. And sometimes I'm the
accountability partner for the client who wants to develop good daily habits or
conquer a big project. So people who need help creating a plan or finding motivation
to stay consistent just need an accountability partner. Now,
here's the thing. If you're thinking, "I don't like to bother people, people are
busy, people will think less of me if I ask for help or if I need help," you're
wrong. People love to help. Okay,
maybe no one loves taking out the trash or doing dishes or scooping the kitty
litter box. I get it. But if you call, text, or email a friend or to and ask for
their expertise or opinion on something, most people will be happy to help you.
People love being experts. People love solving problems and people love making people
feel better. So let go of, oh, I'll be bothering them,
people are busy, nobody can help me. It's just not true. All you have to do is
ask. And if somebody says no or no I'm too busy or no I don't know how, you know
what I say about no. No means next. Go to the next person and ask for help.
I have one client who finds that when he gets stuck or procrastinates on a
particular work project, when he just calls a colleague to talk it through, he
immediately gets unstuck and is able to complete an assignment in no time at all.
And you know what? The colleague is happy to help him.
Now, when we procrastinate, it places a heavy psychological burden on us.
That shame that I talked about earlier, that seeps into our psyche and makes us
feel heavy. It makes us feel lazy and tired and productive,
and it makes us feel like we have something to hide. I had a really successful
client who didn't like people dropping over because she lived in a big beautiful
house, and although it was quite clean, she had a housekeeper and all the things,
it was always cluttered with stuff, and she felt embarrassed by her clutter. So she
rarely had house guests in this big beautiful house. And procrastinating has a lot
of downside, not just psychologically, but it impedes us from making more money
sometimes. Sometimes it impedes us from having a social life. Sometimes it impedes us
from dating, getting promoted, having more free time. The other cost of
procrastinating is that we oftentimes buffer. And that just means avoiding the task
at hand. This is when we find ourselves scrolling through social media, eating junk
food, online shopping, playing video games, watching Netflix, and all the other
things. And listen, none of those things are bad things, but they're a problem if
you're doing it at the expense of getting stuff done. Another trick is decluttering
your physical space. This is a great way to get motivated on a project. Clearing
off your desk, your workspace, can help free your mind and get you motivated to
keep going. I talk about the power of decluttering in, I think, Episode 8. But I
want you to keep in mind, procrastination is a mindset. But one thing you can do
to change your mindset about procrastination is to let go of the label,
"I am a procrastinator." When you identify as a procrastinator,
it reinforces the messaging that doesn't serve you. Kind of like saying, I'm a
perfectionist. And as you've heard me say this before, our thoughts create our
results and our thoughts about ourselves are what we become. So if you've spent your
life saying, I'm a procrastinator, it's time to let that go. Let's rewire your brain
with a new thought. How about I'm a recovering procrastinator, or I'm a doer,
I get shit done. Whatever works for you, find your new productive label and start
living up to that new self -image. All right, let's just do an exercise right now.
What's one thing that you're procrastinating doing right now. Now,
if that's something you can complete yourself, can you commit to doing it right now
and just get it done? Of course, as soon as you finish listening to this podcast,
I challenge you to do that. And then just see, just take note,
how much better you feel when you got it done. So by doing things,
particularly things that we don't want to do, we build momentum. When we take care
of that inbox, whether it's an electronic one or a paper one, whether we file the
papers in folders or we file the papers in a traditional file cabinet, we feel a
sense of accomplishment. When we Take the dishes out of our sink, whether it's into
the dishwasher or hand washed or hand dried, and put back in the cabinets. We feel
a sense of accomplishment. When you fold the laundry and put it where it belongs,
you will feel a sense of accomplishment. So identify that thing that's getting in
your way right now, and just make a commitment to do it. Say,
"I'm a doer, I get shit done," and If you need help, call a friend or relative
and say, "I'm procrastinating folding my laundry. Will you talk with me on the phone
while I do it?" Or turn on some music and have fun with it. Music is a great way
to get your focus. One of the things I do, I think you've heard me say this
before, when I write my podcast, when I write my newsletters, or when I even do my
notes to
and I turn out the noise, and I turn off the noise in the rest of my life so
that my brain focuses on the task at hand and I get it done. Okay,
that's my episode for today. Thank you for listening as always. I look forward to
talking to you soon. Have a great week and bye for now. If you wanna learn more
tips about managing your stress and how to manage your overthinking brain, just go
to my website and sign up for my weekly newsletter at jackiedecrinis.com. That's J
-A -C -K -I -E -D -E -C -R -I -N -I -S .com.
You can also follow me on Instagram @jackiedecrinis. Thank you for listening to this
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