You are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, Episode 6. This week I'm going
to talk about another one of my favorite daily habits to help manage my overthinking
brain, the power of the pause. Let's get started. Hey there,
you are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy. This is a podcast for
overthinkers, overachievers, perfectionist, type A, stressed out,
anxious people who just want to calm down and feel better. I'm your host,
certified life coach Jackie DeCranis.
Hey there, welcome back. So I was thinking, as a classic overdoer overthinker,
I have a confession to make, which is I am still guilty of not mastering the art
of doing nothing. Now as you all know from my previous episodes, I am a daily
meditator. I learned to meditate almost five years ago. I do it every day and it
was one of the most difficult things that I learned and it is one of the things
that I cherish the most in my daily practices. But that said, outside of my
meditation, which I don't consider doing nothing, I consider it a very active
practice, but it is doing nothing from the standpoint of being in stillness.
So, but it is, like I said, it is an active practice. But the art of doing purely
nothing, remembering to take a pause outside of just meditation,
which I schedule and I plan to do every day. This is something that I still
struggle with. And illustrative of that fact, I had a really bad headache last
weekend. It started on Friday, I had a stressful day, and things kept interrupting
my day. And I felt my shoulders creep up to my ears and I could just feel the
tension mounting in my neck and in my shoulders. And by the end of the day, I had
a full blown headache. I didn't sleep well because I had a headache. And then as
you know, when you're fatigued, that doesn't promote great wellness either. So it was
just an all weekend long sort of suffering. And by Sunday morning, I got up and I
fed the dog and drank a glass of water and took tooth tile and all and went back
to bed, which is something I don't do very often. And my daughter came in about a
half hour after I had been resting or trying to rest. And she's like, Oh, I'm
sorry, you don't feel well. And I said, It's not a problem. I'm just, I just heard
her have a headache. And she saw my laptop in my lap. And she said, Why is your
laptop open? And I said, Well, I was writing something for work. And She said, "Why
can't you just do nothing?" And talk about being called out by your daughter.
I said, "Well, I'm just not comfortable doing nothing." She goes, "Oh, I know. You
always have to be in perpetual motion." And I hate to say it, there's some truth
in that. So anyway, like many people, I am always in perpetual motion.
And I have to say that part of that is by choice and part of that is by habit.
And I'm probably like many of you. I'm always either working or making lists,
tidying up, cooking, doing dishes, doing laundry, running errands,
responding to emails or texts, working out, returning calls, scheduling appointments,
paying bills, whatever. But I am perpetually in motion and I tend to respond to
everything immediately. I tend to want to get things off my plate as fast as
humanly possible. And if I had to admit why, there's probably a secret fear that I
will drop the ball or something will slip through the cracks or maybe I wouldn't
have energy or care to do it later. So I just do everything as it comes. Now,
this is not a new habit for me. I was like this when I was a student and a
secretary and a high level executive. And to a greater or lesser degree, I'm still
guilty of it as a life coach, although I am learning slowly to take more pauses.
So why is it we're so afraid to take a pause. Well, it's because when the plates
stop spinning or the proverbial balls stop juggling, we don't know what to do with
ourselves. The silence can be deafening in our own heads. And what I mean by that
is the noises. We invite the noises to come up, the noises that are our inner
critic, judgment, judgment of not doing anything, judgment of not doing enough,
or just the overthinking, over -worrying brain that we're wired with. So people avoid
this by always being on the go, whether that's social plans,
traveling, activities, concerts, dinners, parties, or other people manage their fear of
silence by always having a distraction, social media, mindlessly eating,
television, video games. And for many of us over thinkers, over schedulers,
over everythingers, we're managing our fear of our own thoughts by just simply not
taking a pause because a pause feels like a scary abyss.
And it's why so many people are hesitant to meditate, because the most common
complaint is, "I can't be alone with my own thoughts." But what if taking a pause
was where all the magic happened? What if we got comfortable in the silence to find
a new level of insight or creativity? There's a theory in dream analysis that if
we're being chased by a monster and you can recognize that you're in a dream, by
just turning around and facing the monster, you come to realize it can no longer
hurt you. Well maybe taking a pause is kind of the same thing.
There's power in the pause.
So when I have taken an extra moment to respond to an email or a text,
that is, I've taken a pause, or when I've not rushed to get everything done, or
when I've sat quietly or laid down for five minutes, or meditated,
I find greater peace in my mind and my body.
We're so afraid of pausing because we're afraid of losing momentum, or we're afraid
somebody will judge us. We're afraid that the pause will cause us to lose too much
time. But sometimes taking a pause creates more time.
Because pausing can bring clarity. It can bring enlightenment.
It can bring peace. And that can be a time savor.
So the monster that is chasing you is your own imagination, your own overthinking
brain. And by letting it chase you to run faster and not honor your mind and body
in stillness, it wins because you just keep running faster and faster.
And this leads to less clarity in your thinking and greater burnout.
Taking a pause when things are really hectic and stressful to just calm down your
nervous system and acknowledge the racing thoughts and let them pass is such a
wonderful gift to yourself. But here's the thing, taking a pause when things are
really wonderful to focus and relish in the moment is powerful too. They both have
benefit because they create mindfulness. Taking a pause is exactly the same thing as
being mindful. Being aware, being present in the moment.
It's like Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Today is a gift," and that's why we call it the
present. So how do we take a pause? There's so many different ways.
It might mean just stopping for a moment and noticing something beautiful, like a
tree or a flower.
It might mean sitting down on a bench for five minutes and taking a rest. It might
mean a 10 -minute power nap on a sofa or in your bed. It might mean a five -minute
meditation.
It might mean going outside and just letting the sunshine hit your face for a few
minutes. Or holding a cup of coffee or hot tea and just noticing the calming effect
in your hands. It might mean taking three slow deep breaths before replying to an
email, a text, or phone call. It might mean slowing down when you kiss your partner
or your kid or you pet your dog in the morning. There's no right or wrong way to
take a pause.
And like everything, it's about learning to give yourself permission and being willing
to press the reset button. And by practicing this every day in little mindful ways,
you're giving yourself a gift. You're taming the dragon that is your brain that
wants to play tricks on you about never slowing down or pausing for fear that you
won't get it all done. It's not true.
Taking a pause gets you out of that conditioned fight -or -flight response that so
many of us over indulge in. I'm guilty of this as well. One of my favorite quotes
by spiritual leader and author Eckhart Tall is, "Stillness is where creativity and
solutions to problems are found." Learning to take a pause is another tool in your
toolbox to manage that big, awesome overthinking brain of yours. So I challenge you
to give it a try. And like I say, this is a practice, so be kind to yourself
until it becomes a habit. Now come join me for the next installment of my Power
Series. It's going to be awesome. And until then, take three deep breaths.
And I'll see you next week. Bye for now. If you want to learn more tips about
managing your stress and how to manage your overthinking brain, just go to my
website and sign up for my weekly newsletter at JackieDakrennis .com. That's J -A -C -K
-I -E -D -E -C -R -I -N -I -S dot com.
You can also follow me on Instagram at JackieDakrennis. Bye for now. Thank you for
listening to this episode of Overthinkers Guide to Joy. If you like what was offered
in today's episode, I would love you to leave a review and subscribe or follow
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