Ep #105: Redefining Bucket Lists

You are listening to episode 105 of The Overthinker's Guide to Joy. This is the
episode where we're going to talk about bucket lists. Let's dive in.
This is a podcast for overthinkers, overdoers and overachievers who are tired of
feeling over anxious and just want to feel better. I'm your host, certified life
coach, Jackie de Crinis.
Hey, friends, and welcome back. I thought today we would talk about bucket lists.
When you think of a bucket list, what comes to mind? Skydiving, traveling to exotic
locations, swimming with dolphins or maybe sharks. For many,
the idea of a bucket list is synonymous with adrenaline pumping adventures or at the
very least, travel. But at its core, a bucket list isn't just about thrill -seeking.
It's a personal inventory of goals that range from the wild and adventurous to the
deeply meaningful. But why do people have bucket lists? Well,
the notion of a bucket list became more popular after the release of the 2007 movie
The Bucket List, where two terminally ill men, played by Jack Nicholson and Morgan
Freeman, embark on a journey to complete all the things they want to do before
they, quote, "kick the bucket." Since then, the idea of crafting a list of dreams
and goals has become a symbolic way to live life more fully, no matter what your
age. But why do people feel the need to create these lists? Well,
it turns out there are several reasons. One is to create a sense of purpose.
Life can sometimes feel like it moves too fast. We get caught up in our day -to
-day routines and years, if not decades, have suddenly passed before we know it.
A bucket list helps us reconnect with our deepest desires, making sure we don't lose
sight of what matters most to us. Another reason, though, is to push boundaries.
For some, a bucket list is about pushing the limits of what we think we're capable
of, like running a marathon, learning a new language, or hiking the tallest mountain.
These goals stretch us beyond our comfort zones. Yet another reason might be to just
seek fulfillment. Often people create bucket lists because they feel a void in their
lives. Like there's a yearning for more, whether that's more meaning or more
experiences or just more achievements. And these lists can kind of help fill the
space by outlining a roadmap towards that fulfillment. And sometimes It's just about
creating memories. Most bucket list items aren't about material things. They're about
connections and stories to cherish. These moments often hold more value than any
physical possession ever could. And I think that's because as we get older, things
or stuff kind of becomes less important. And experiences or creating memories become
invaluable. But the really interesting question for me is why some people don't have
a bucket list. And so I did a little research on this, and it turns out there's
reasons for that too. And one reason is just being present.
Some people just prefer to live in the moment without the pressure of having to
check off a list. They might find joy in spontaneous experiences and feel that
planning adventures diminishes the spontaneity of life.
Another reason might be contentment with life. Not everyone feels the need for a
bucket list because they already have everything they want. Whether or not they've
lived a big, expansive life or a very quiet, simple one, They simply feel they've
accomplished what they wanted to do or they're satisfied with their daily life
without the need for grand gestures or bold achievements. And yet another reason
might be avoiding pressure. Having a bucket list can feel like an added layer of
pressure for some people. And last, but not least, they might be focused on small
wins. Rather than creating a large list of ambitious goals, some people prefer to
focus on smaller everyday achievements. For them, joy comes from incremental progress
rather than completing a grand challenge. I personally have always equated bucket
lists with travel. And maybe it's because people are always like, that's on my
bucket list, and I want to go there. And that's on my bucket list. And as some of
you may know, I don't love to travel. Well, I've done my fair share of it
throughout my life and I am grateful to have had the ability and means to do so.
It just doesn't call to me the way it does so many others. Many of whom are my
family members and actually my closest friends. They love to travel and they have
long bucket lists of places they want to go. But because I was one of those people
who always associated travel and adventure with bucket lists, I just assumed I didn't
really have a bucket list of my own. But then I came to realize that I do have a
few items on my bucket list. They just didn't involve adventure or travel. It has
always been a personal goal of mine to write a book. While it might not have the
same thrill for some as jumping out of an airplane, I can tell you for me it felt
almost as scary, which is probably why it took me so long to finally do it. Now
for those who want to write a book, it can be an act of legacy, creativity, or
personal expression. Whether it's a memoir, a novel, or a guidebook, the goal is to
leave something behind that speaks to your life's experience and wisdom. And I'm
using air quotes for wisdom since I totally recognize that is an entirely subjective
word. So I've written a self -help book for managing anxiety,
and it shares the same name as this podcast, The Overthinker's Guide to Joy, a
handbook for overachievers, people -pleasers, and perfectionists. It will be available
for purchase next month. But the process of writing a book was truly daunting.
The writing wasn't even the hardest part, but the editing and re -editing was a huge
commitment and challenge. Whenever I write, whether it's a blog post or a podcast or
this book that I've currently been working on, I always think of these quotes. There
There is no great writing, only great rewriting, and I love this one.
Rewriting is like scrubbing the basement floor with a toothbrush.
And then there was recording the book for the audio version. I figured that would
be a piece of cake after writing the book, because I already do a podcast, so I'm
used to writing and recording my voice. Really me. There was nothing easy about
reading a book for platforms like Audible. Because what I failed to realize is that
every word that is written has to be read. Which means if you write it, in my
case if I wrote it, it had to be said verbatim. You can't skip words, you can't
change words, there's no caveats, you can't riff, not even a little. because
apparently there's some AI algorithm where it reads what you've written and it has
to match exactly. So in addition to being wildly nervous to read my book aloud for
the first time, I had a sound engineer who followed along with every word and made
sure I didn't skip or add any. So when something sounded a little bit off or
wonky, I couldn't just make a change on the fly. I needed to stop the recording,
correct the sentence or word in the manuscript, not on the document the book editor
sent because that would mess up their layout, but on another piece of software that
I was really not familiar with and I had to highlight the change and then make the
change in a separate word document for the editor so that it all matches when it
goes to print next month. So this made the recording session take twice as long as
it should have, and it was twice as exhausting because I was already nervous, I'm
the writer of the book, and now I'm suddenly the director of this recording and the
producer and the editor and the narrator. I was a mess for days leading up to this
and during the entire weekend of the recording. So for almost a whole week, my over
-thinker, people -pleaser perfectionist brain was in complete overdrive. So in between
trying to make sure that I didn't make any mistakes, I also found myself overly
anxious and didn't follow my own self -care protocol. I was not getting enough
exercise, I wasn't eating my normal well -balanced diet, and subsequently, I wasn't
sleeping well, all of which was making me even more anxious than usual.
But When I finished the project, I felt like I had birthed a baby,
because that's what it's like when you create something and see it through,
when you deliver it, if you will. And doing something that scares you a little,
but is something you've always wanted to do, is really quite exhilarating, even if
there is a little bit of hyperventilation in the process. But this is no different
for people who set any kind of goal for personal fulfillment, such as starting a
new business, completing a degree later in life, running a charity event, learning a
new skill like painting or woodworking and then showing it to people for the first
time, or trying to sell it. These types of goals aren't about seeking thrills or
taking physical risks, they're about personal growth, contribution, and making an
impact. So whether you have a bucket list full of daring adventures or are more
focused on life achievements, there's no right or wrong way to approach it. The
beauty of a bucket list is that it's a reflection of you, your hopes,
your desires, and your values. So what's on your list? Whether it's seeing the
Northern Lights or finally starting that passion project, remember that a bucket list
is less about what others think, but how you feel when you know you finally did
something you've always dreamt of. So I just encourage you to dream big.
It doesn't have to be a big dream to dream big. It just has to be getting in
touch with something that you have always wanted. And then the first step is really
just taking a first step. It might be signing up for a class to learn something
that you need in order to achieve that goal. It might be taking a course online.
It might be asking a friend to be your accountability partner. It is never too late
to start something that is meaningful to you.
All right, friends, that's what I have for you today. And I look forward to talking
to you again soon. Have a fantastic week and bye for now.
If you would like to learn more about working with me as a coach, you can connect
with me through my website at jackiedecrinis.com. That's J -A -C -K -I -E -D -E -C -R -I -N -I -S .com.