You're listening to the Overthinkers Guide to Joy, episode 56. This is the one where
we're going to talk about permission to unplug. Let's dive in. This is a podcast
for overthinkers, overdoers and overachievers who are tired of feeling over anxious
and just want to feel better. I'm your host certified life coach, Jackie de Crinis.
Hey there, and welcome back. So, I've just celebrated my one -year anniversary of the
Overthinker's Guide to Joy podcast, and I'm really proud of myself. I didn't think I
would be able to produce an original episode every week for a year, much less keep
going on it, but I've noticed that now that I'm on episode 56,
the anniversary actually passed a few weeks ago, and I realize I really just have
loved podcasting so much. I especially love the feedback that I get from my
listeners when a particular episode has resonated. That makes me feel so good,
whether I get it in the comments or whether people email me or text me or call
me, I just love it. But for anyone who has ever done a weekly podcast or even a
blog, you know it takes a healthy chunk of time to figure out what you want to
talk about or write about. And times. There's a lot of research or fact -checking
involved. And then there's the tech of it, recording, checking the sound, making sure
you got all the pieces. And then in my case, I put them in a Dropbox account and
send them off to my editors. I have a fabulous producing team who takes most of
the ums and pregnant pauses out and all the retakes when I get tongue -tied because
I'm either talking too fast or I'm too excited or I don't now. Sometimes I'm just
tongue -tied. But this is a long way of saying that I am going to be taking a
short break from both work and podcasting to take my first vacation in a very long
time. While we did some traveling here and there over the last few years for my
daughter's college tour and dropping her off at school, this is really the first
real vacation my husband and I all I've had in, I don't know, three years, four
years, five years, a long time. And I've really debated back and forth about really
unplugging for this vacation because this is the first time I'll have been taking
time off since I started my life coaching business several years ago. As many of
you know, when you're starting a new business, you're all in and there is not a
lot of ability to take time off because you're building a clientele and a reputation
and, like I said, a podcast.
The truth is, I didn't really need a vacation. I love what I do. I still love
what I do. I just didn't think I needed the break. On top of it, there was a
pandemic, so really where were we going? I just got very accustomed to working all
the time. It's probably a leftover habit from my television career where we worked
all the time, although those vacations I looked forward to because it was the only
break that I got. But I've really debated back and forth about unplugging from this
vacation. Part of me thought I should bring my laptop. I should continue to see
clients when I have downtime or I could at least record my weekly podcast and do
my weekly blog. But then I came to the conclusion that this is not the advice I
would give my clients. I would tell my clients if you're going on a big vacation,
unplug and unplug completely. I would tell them start watching things for pleasure,
read for pleasure, or see the sights, sleep in, exercise, but just be present on
your trip, whatever it is, whether it's a skate trip, a hiking trip, a city trip,
a country trip, a bike trip, but just be there and don't be tied to your devices
and don't be tied to other time zones and appointments and deadlines and feeling the
need that you'll always have to be working on something. Just be wherever you are.
And then I noticed the discomfort I was having in making this decision that I have
created a life where I have a lot more work -life balance than I ever did in my
30 plus years in the television business But I still hold a little bit of a
workaholics mentality. It's my comfort zone. I Like to work.
I feel productive when I work. I feel useful when I work. I feel purposeful when I
work But I also like to play. I like to play games in sports and watch TV and
listen to music and read books and socialize with friends. But just playing for
weeks at a time for a vacation at a time feels oddly uncomfortable.
And the thoughts that come up are, "Well, what if I got bored?" or "What if I
lose momentum?" or "What if I can't get back into my work when I return?" And I
was supposed to get ahead and record a bunch of original episodes before I left,
which I didn't do because I didn't have time and I just had too many other
obligations. But I realized that that was also generating this discomfort, the feeling
like I failed before I left and then the need to compensate,
the need to bring my computer, bring my microphone, bring all my things so that I
could make up for the work that I didn't get ahead of. And I decided I need to
reframe that thought. And I thought that that might be helpful for many of my
listeners who, like me, are workaholics or productiveaholics or perfectionists or
overthinkers. And I thought, well, what would be more valuable for my audience of
overthinkers? Would it be more valuable to stress myself out on vacation to create
original episodes and make sure I do my weekly blog, or would it be more valuable
to live by example and take an actual vacation? And I decided to sit in my
discomfort of truly unplugging and lead by example by taking a month -long hiatus
from both my podcast and my blog. So everybody's staying home, the laptop,
the microphone, the iPad, they're all staying here and in their place I'm going to
bring a book and my journal and just be present. Now here's the other wrinkle
because of course I can't not overthink about everything right because that's why I
did this podcast. But the other wrinkle is I'm not a good traveler. Now I'm not a
nervous flyer and I'm not afraid of going places and I do find once I'm there. I
just don't like the logistics of traveling. I'm a really bad packer. I'm one of
those people who likes to have everything just in case. And my husband is not going
to let me over pack because we're going to way too many different places with
planes and trains and automobiles, so I need to be very efficient in my packing.
And that kind of stresses me out. Everyone always says, "But you can just buy
whatever you need when you're there." But that feels sort of wasteful to me, like
why would I buy something that I already have at home and I hate having things in
duplicate and I feel like I should just know what I need and should just have it
all and figure it out. And if you're a woman, you kind of know what I'm talking
about because we like what we like. We're very particular about our shampoos and
conditioners and face lotions and body lotions and blow dryers and pillows and
vitamins and all the things. And none of this is an issue for my husband because
He can use any soap or any shampoo and he has spectacular hair and skin and
requires nothing special and he is perfectly happy to wear tennis shorts on the
tennis court and then walk around the city or go to a museum in tennis shorts and
even out to dinner. Well, for me, that's like three different outfits and shoes and
probably for most women too, which means more luggage and look, I'm not particularly
high maintenance. Well, maybe I am in my own way, but I'm not super fancy. It's
just I just don't have that skill set of the expert traveler who navigates the
globe with carry -on luggage. And for my friends and clients who are listening to
this episode, you know who you are. I am so in awe of you. But the intention of
this episode was to recognize how our own thoughts and limitations can get in our
way of experiencing something wonderful. I am really looking forward to my vacation.
I'm really looking forward to being with extended family and my husband. I'm just
saying that when the mental blocks get in the way of doing things joyful, we have
to like hold ourselves accountable to that. We have to take a pause and say,
what's really getting in our way? And for me, it's old habits of perfectionism and
workaholism that we're getting in the way of me just leaning in and being excited
about going on vacation. Not giving myself permission to unplug because my own inner
critic, the old one, telling me I always need to be productive even when I'm on
vacation. So I did a little self -coaching and I got a little coaching from my
colleagues, and I decided I am giving myself permission to unplug.
And maybe that's something you guys need to think about for yourselves too, whether
it's for a day, or a weekend, or even a whole month, what do you need,
and what's stopping you from making that happen? And is it yourself?
Is it possible that it's not your boss and it's not your kids and it's not your
spouse, but it's just you're getting in your own way of saying, "I need a break.
I'm entitled to a break and I'm gonna take a break." So I hope this episode was
helpful to all of you who may be like me, who when they see something really
exciting and joyful, often don't want to lean in because they think they have to
overthink it and over manage it and feel guilty for just having fun and unplugging
and I'm giving you permission like I gave myself you're allowed to unplug and I
highly recommend it so with that I will be back to you with original episodes in
November and until then I'm wishing you a great couple of weeks and may you be
kind to yourself during the break bye for now Thank you for listening to this
episode of the Overthinker's Guide to Joy. If you're enjoying these episodes, please
subscribe or follow this podcast so you can always be in the know when the next
episode drops. If you would like to learn more about working with me as a coach,
you can connect with me through my website at jackiedecrinis.com
