You are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy. This is the one where I am
going to do a little bit of a bonus replay for you. We're gonna repeat the
episode, The Power of the Pause, because I needed this lesson in my life this week
after throwing my back out last week on the tennis court. Yes, I have another
tennis injury. I had to reluctantly rest a lot this week and did not get to an
original podcast and I thought to myself, "Oh, what better message than to take my
own advice and take a pause?" And I thought, "Let's replay for my listeners the
power of the pause." So if you've heard it before, here it is again. Hope you'll
learn something new from it and if you haven't heard it and it's new to you, enjoy
it and Remember, it's okay to take a pause. I'll talk to you next week.
Enjoy the episode.
Hey there, you are listening to the Overthinkers Guide to Joy. This is a podcast
for over thinkers, over achievers, perfectionists, type A, stressed out,
anxious people who just wanna calm down and feel better. I'm your host,
certified life coach Jackie de Crinis.
Hey there, welcome back. So I was thinking, as a classic overdue or overthinker,
I have a confession to make, which is I am still guilty of not mastering the art
of doing nothing. Now, as you all know from my previous episodes, I am a daily
meditator. I learned to meditate almost five years ago. I do it every day.
And it was one of the most difficult things that I learned, and it is one of the
things that I cherish the most in my daily practices. But that said,
outside of my meditation, which I don't consider doing nothing. I consider it a very
active practice, but it is doing nothing from the standpoint of being in stillness.
So, but it is, like I said, it is an active practice. But the art of doing purely
nothing, remembering to take a pause outside of just meditation,
which I schedule and I plan to do every day, this is something that I still
struggle with. And illustrative of that fact, I had a really bad headache last
weekend. It started on Friday, I had a stressful day, and things kept interrupting
my day, and I felt my shoulders creep up to my ears, and I could just feel the
tension mounting in my neck and in my shoulders, and by the end of the day, I had
a full -blown headache. I didn't sleep well because I had a headache. And then as
you know, when you're fatigued, that doesn't promote great wellness either. So it was
just an all weekend long sort of suffering. And by Sunday morning, I got up and I
fed the dog and drank a glass of water and took tooth Tylenol and went back to
bed, which is something I don't do very often. And my daughter came in about a
half hour after I had been resting or trying to rest. And she's like, Oh, I'm
sorry, you don't feel well. And I said, it's not a problem. I'm just, I just heard
her to have a headache. And she saw my laptop in my lap. And she said, why is
your laptop open? And I said, well, I was writing something for work. And she said,
why can't you just do nothing?
And, you know, talk about being called out by your daughter. I said, well, you
know, I'm just not comfortable doing nothing. She goes, Oh, I know, you always have
to be in perpetual motion. And I hate to say it, there's some truth in that. So
anyway, like many people, I am always in perpetual motion.
And I have to say that part of that is by choice and part of that is by habit.
And I'm probably like many of you. I'm always either working or making lists,
tidying up, cooking, doing dishes, doing laundry, running errands,
responding to emails or texts, working out, returning calls, scheduling appointments,
paying bills, whatever. But I am perpetually in motion and I tend to respond to
everything immediately. I tend to want to get things off my late as fast as humanly
possible, and if I had to admit why, there's probably a secret fear that I will
drop the ball, or something will slip through the cracks, or maybe I wouldn't have
energy or care to do it later. So I just do everything as it comes. Now this is
not a new habit for me. I was like this when I was a student, and a secretary
and a high -level executive, and to a greater or lesser degree, I'm still guilty of
it as a life coach, although I am learning, slowly, to take more pauses.
So why is it we're so afraid to take a pause? Well, it's because when the plates
stop spinning or the proverbial balls stop juggling, we don't know what to do with
ourselves. The silence can be deafening in our own heads. And what I mean by that
is the noises. We invite the noises to come up, the noises that are inner critic,
judgment, judgment of not doing anything, judgment of not doing enough, or just the
overthinking, over worrying brain that we're wired with.
So people avoid this by always being on the go, whether that's social plans,
traveling, activities, concerts, dinners, parties, or other people manage their fear of
silence by always having a distraction, social media, mindlessly eating,
television, video games. And for many of us over thinkers, over schedulers over
everythingers. We're managing our fear of our own thoughts by just simply not taking
a pause. Because a pause feels like a scary abyss. And it's why so many people are
hesitant to meditate because the most common complaint is, I can't be alone with my
own thoughts.
But what if taking a pause was where all the magic happened? What if we got
comfortable in the silence to find a new level of insight or creativity?
There's a theory in dream analysis that if we're being chased by a monster and you
can recognize that you're in a dream by just turning around and facing the monster,
you come to realize it can no longer hurt you.
Well, maybe taking a pause is kind of the same thing. There's power in the pause.
So when I have taken an extra moment to respond to an email or a text,
that is, I've taken a pause, or when I've not rushed to get everything done,
or when I've sat quietly, or laid down for five minutes, or meditated,
I find greater peace in my mind and my body.
We're so afraid of pausing because we're afraid of losing momentum, or we're afraid
somebody will judge us.
We're afraid that the pause will cause us to lose too much time, but sometimes
taking a pause creates more time, because pausing can bring clarity,
it can bring enlightenment, it can bring peace, and that can be a time saver.
So the monster that is chasing you is your own imagination, your own overthinking
brain, and by letting it chase you to run faster and not honor your mind and body
in stillness, it wins because you just keep running faster and faster and this leads
to less clarity in your thinking and greater burnout. Taking a pause when things are
really hectic and stressful to just calm down your nervous system and acknowledge the
racing thoughts and let them pass.
It's such a wonderful gift to yourself. But here's the thing,
taking a pause when things are really wonderful to focus and relish in the moment
is powerful too. They both have benefit because they create mindfulness.
Taking a pause is exactly the same thing as being mindful. Being aware.
Being present in the moment. It's like Eleanor Roosevelt said,
"Today is a gift, and that's why we call it the present." So how do we take a
pause? There's so many different ways. It might mean just stopping for a moment and
noticing something beautiful, like a tree or a flower. It might mean sitting down on
a bench for 5 minutes and taking a rest. It might mean a 10 minute power nap on
a sofa or in your bed. It might mean a 5 minute meditation.
It might mean going outside and just letting the sunshine hit your face for a few
minutes or holding a cup of coffee or hot tea and just noticing the calming effect
in your hands. It might mean taking three slow deep breaths before replying to an
email, a text, or a phone call.
It might mean slowing down when you kiss your partner or your kid or you pet your
dog in the morning. There's no right or wrong way to take a pause,
and like everything, it's about learning to give yourself permission and being willing
to press the reset button. And by practicing this every day in little mindful ways,
you're giving yourself a gift. You're taming the dragon that is your brain,
that wants to play tricks on you about never slowing down or pausing for fear that
you won't get it all done. It's not true.
Taking a pause gets you out of that conditioned fight or flight response that so
many of us overindulge in. I'm guilty of this as well. One of my favorite quotes
by spiritual leader and author Eckhart Tahl is stillness is where creativity and
solutions to problems are found. Learning to take a pause is another tool in your
toolbox to manage that big, awesome over -thinking brain of yours. So I challenge you
to give it a try. And like I say, this is a practice, so be kind to yourself
until it becomes a habit. Now come join me for the next installment of my power
series. It's going to be awesome. And until then take three deep breaths and I'll
see you next week. Bye for now. If you want to learn more tips about managing your
stress and how to manage your overthinking brain, just go to my website and sign up
for my weekly newsletter at jackiedecrinis.com. That's J -A -C -K -I -E -D -E -C -R -I -N
-I -S .com
Thank you for listening to this episode of Overthinker's Guide to Joy. If you like
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