You are listening to the Overthinker's Guide to Joy, episode 126. This is the one where we're going to talk about permission again, but this time in the context of summer. Let's dive in.
This is a podcast for overthinkers, overdoers and overachievers who are tired of feeling over-anxious and just want to feel better. I'm your host, certified life coach, Jackie de Crinis.
Hey there and welcome back! So you might have noticed that I missed my airdate two weeks ago. I wish I could say I had a great excuse, but the truth is I was just busy. Not busy with anything life-changing. Kind of just busy having fun. You know, like summer.
People tend to lose track of time because they're playing and it's warm and it's kind of carefree. And even though I live in Hawaii, where the weather doesn't really change, there's a very real shift in energy this time of year. And that's what I wanna talk about today.
This is something I've talked about before, recently on a podcast a few episodes ago, but it feels especially relevant right now. And that is the idea of permission.
So as I said, summer brings kind of a carefree attitude, like a looseness. The energy is just brighter in summer. It's louder. It's just less restrictive. Kids are out of school, although mine are all grown now. But that changes the energy. It changes traffic patterns. It changes responsibilities. There are more barbecues. There's more social invitations, more gatherings.
And on the flip side, there's also less routine, less consistency. Because people travel, often my clients will reschedule in the summer because of travel plans, or friends leave the island 'cause we have a lot of snowbirds in Hawaii, and routines just kind of unravel.
And while it's beautiful because it's a seasonal shift, it can also be disorienting because there's something about summer that throws out a very carefully crafted rhythm. And for people like me who love structure and dependability, that can often feel unsettling.
So yes, I missed my podcast deadline two weeks ago because I completely forgot. But instead of beating myself up or scrambling to throw something together, I just let it go. And it hit me. Maybe that wasn't a failure. Maybe it was a good lesson for my clients to remind them I'm human too. We all make mistakes and we all forget things that are on our calendar.
Maybe it was just summer doing what summer does. Disrupting things. Inviting a pause. And from my case asking me to slow down and recalibrate. And maybe it was my body's way of saying, you need a minute.
Which brings me back to this idea I've been revisiting. Permission. Permission to pause, permission to rest, permission to not explain yourself, permission to say yes, permission to say no.
And this summer I have had a whole string of really lovely invitations, birthday parties, retirement parties, dinner parties, barbecues, pool parties, tennis, pickleball, golf, all the things I genuinely love. And I've said yes to almost all of them. But the last couple of days I've had to say no. Not because I didn't want to go, but because I needed rest.
Sometimes that "no" is to one more invitation, or one more phone call, one more Zoom meeting, or one more errand. And sometimes it's a "yes" to lying on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. And I'm realizing that it's okay.
It's okay to not be everything to everyone all the time. It's okay to let your routines shift with the various seasons. And it's okay to miss a podcast air day.
One thing I've always admired in other people are people who just simply say, "No, I won't be able to make it." That's it. No long explanation, no guilt, just a clear, kind boundary. And I'm learning that's not selfish, that's self-respect. It's honoring your own energy, your own time, and your own needs. It's tuning into what makes you feel grounded and happy and whole.
So if you're listening right now and you've been feeling a little off your game, scattered, tired, over-committed, here's your reminder. You have permission to pause, to pivot, to say yes, to say no, to miss something, to take care of yourself.
So it's been really, really hot and we don't have air conditioning. We have ceiling fans and portable fans and lots of windows, but when it gets really hot, my house tends to kind of cook all day. And so when it's bedtime, it can be a little hot and sticky.
My puppy who you all know if you've been listening to this podcast has been crate trained. He is now eight months old. I've had him since he was two months old. So for the last six months every night at nine o'clock I take him out to go potty and then I put him in his crate. I cover the crate in my office, close the door and he sleeps till 6 a.m. And it's been pretty great. And I'm sort of proud of myself that at least I got that part of puppy training down pat.
But the other night, it was hot and he did not want to go in his crate and he certainly didn't want it covered because I came to realize he's probably hot in there. Which most of the year he's fine and again the fan is always on in my office, but he's covered in hair and it's summer and he just wasn't having it.
So he's like running around my backyard for a half an hour while I'm trying to chase him to grab him to put him to bed and he's not interested. So finally I got him wrangled back in my office and he went and laid down in his little comfy day bed. Basically he wasn't going in the crate.
And when I did put him in the crate, he started crying, which of course made me sad. And I know I shouldn't succumb to it, but I did. And he went back to the day bed and just laid there. And I realized he's hot. He wants to sleep in just a regular bed, he doesn't want to be in the crate, and he doesn't want to have it covered.
So I let him do that, which is a little risky, although my office is fairly puppy-proofed. But I closed the door, and he was good all night. And I thought, well, that's another illustration of sort of like, sometimes you break up the routine and it's okay.
And he's been a really happy guy sleeping in his little day bed in the office with the door closed by himself but just not cooped up in the crate covered when it's really hot and there's no air conditioning.
So let summer be a little messy, let it be a little playful, a little loose, let it rest you because that's where I am right now and maybe you are too. So I'm going to take a cue from my puppy and I'm going to change up the routine a little bit. And so I might be missing a few podcasts in the future. We'll see. But I just wanted to let you know for now I'm here. I'm thinking of you all. I thank you for listening. Have a great week. I'll talk to you soon. Bye for now.
If you would like to learn more about working with me as a coach, you can connect with me through my website at JackieDeCrinis.com.
